Sex at 17??

I'm 17 and my parents do not permit sex. I agree with them, but my boyfriend doesn't. Once he kept pushing at me and forcing me and all I could do was wait for it to be over. Luckily, he stopped before anything happened. He said he was sorry and told me to leave so he could "control himself." I love him, but I don't know what to do.

Proposal
It seems as though you are asking for advice about how to talk with one’s boyfriend about becoming sexually intimate, having intercourse, or choosing not to have intercourse. Before you have a bit of a discussion with your boyfriend about this issue, think this through carefully for yourself (not just because of your parents’ “not permitting sex”.) Why do you feel you are NOT ready for intimate sex and how are you going to explain your very justified feelings and values? Not becoming pregnant is a very valid concern; not wanting to risk acquiring a sexually transmitted disease also is another valid concern; addressing your own religious/moral values also is important. Do you have a school peer group in which you could discuss this situation in general terms—feeling pressured into having sex—and practice some role playing in peer counseling, practice ways of addressing this with one’s date, practice “How to say no and really meaning it”? If you don’t have a school peer counseling group, do you have a trusted adult you could talk with first, and discuss what your values are and get some guidance with finding words to express this with your boyfriend?
Then, after a bit of rehearsal (with a group and/or with yourself), find a place that is quiet but public (not in the car or otherwise alone with your boyfriend) - perhaps when you two are out together for a snack, or on a walk but with other people passing by - and tell your boyfriend that this issue is something that has been bothering you ever since the “forced episode.” Tell him you want to talk with him about your feelings about sex and where you are with your ground rules right now for this part of your relationship. Explore the ways that you enjoy being with your boyfriend and how you can have very intimate moments without “going all the way.” Tell him how you were really scared about his pushing you around and feeling physically threatened, and that your relationship cannot evolve (and will not go further) if he continues to physically force you to do things.

Has your relationship been physically abusive or overly controlling at other times and over other issues? If so, this certainly is something you must work out with a peer counselor or other counselor before confronting your boyfriend. Was alcohol or other drug use involved at the time of the “forced episode” you alluded to? You need to be very careful not to put yourself in a possible date rape situation—don’t drink on your dates; don’t let anyone give you a drink to which a substance may have been added. If your boyfriend drinks and this makes him more forceful, then limit your dates with him to more group settings or group activities and think carefully about why you are still in this relationship.

Sexual intimacy is a wonderful, powerful experience, and a very normal part of one’s human experience. But, oh, it is so much better if it is always a CHOSEN experience and an experience that is based on trust, friendship, love and willing choice, NOT force. At whatever time in your life that you do choose to become sexually intimate, please make sure you and your partner have discussed and obtained appropriate birth control and that you have safe, healthy sex (use condoms!!).